Saturday, January 8, 2011

A bluebottle

"I was watching a blue bottle yesterday. In an effort to escape the living room,

he kept flying against the window, hitting his head against the glass over and

over. Then he stopped launching himself at it like a missile and stuck to one

little windowpane, buzzing about like he was having a panic attack. It was

frustrating to watch, especially because if he'd just flown up a little bit higher

towards the top of the window, he'd have been free. But he kept doing the same

thing over and over again. I could imagine his frustration of being able to see

the trees, the flowers, the sky, yet not being able to get to them. I tried to help

him a few times, to guide him towards the open window, but he flew away from

me around the room. He'd eventually come back to the same window and I could

almost hear him : 'Well, this is the same way I came in...' "

Ni an excerpt aku dpat dri novel The Book of Tomorrow by Cecilia Ahern. One of my fav books and authors. Klu kte cbe paham btul2 apa yg excerpt ni cbe smpaikn insyaAllah kte nmpk mksd disebaliknya.

So.. Nak share???

Friday, January 7, 2011

When things get confusing

Have you ever had a dilemma where someone's treating you so well that you hate it? If you do, then I'll say.. COME AND JOIN THE CLUB!! If some of you don't, then maybe you want to spend some time reading my story.

It started not so long ago. Couple of months I'd say. When I said couple of months, I really meant 'couple'. Yea, it's two months to be exact. I was not sure where and how X ( I'll call the person that, OK?) came. But X just did.

X treated me well back then and X still treats me so well now. X did stuffs that never once any of my friends ever did to me or even... with me. It cannot be denied that some of those times, I did enjoy X company. But... ( yes, there's a but) some of other times, X just some annoying, disturbing irritating brat! (How mean that sounds to you?) That's what I felt or rather I feel.

Maybe I'm just so comfortable being with people who don't really care about me ALL the time. Maybe I'm just so suitable being around people who don't really bug me EVERY ticking minute. Maybe I'm just secretive enough to not let someone like X intrude my comfort zone. Or maybe I just don't like X at all.

But hold on. Every time I come to that conclusion, I'll think again. HOW COME YOU DON'T LIKE SOMEONE WHO'S NICE TO YOU? HOW BAD IS A GOOD PERSON LIKE THAT DESERVES TO BE HATED? So, you guys see what I meant?

At some point I thought letting X knows how I feel particularly about Xself is the best thing to do. But at other one point, I'd say, "X just don't need to know all that. X'll be very upset that eventually I'll just loose X along the way". Then I'd say back, "Isn't that will be easier? Loosing X? Isn't that what I want?".

NO... Its not what I want...

In the end, I just start to avoid X. I answer X once in a while. I talk to X sometimes. It's just unlike before. So, is what I'm doing right or wrong?

Am I right because I deserve to have my own life and privacy that make avoiding X is one of the ways to get them?


Am I wrong because I'm just too self-preserved that I ignored a good person to share my life and that make me a selfish girl at the same time?


Am I just don't have any control on this dilemma?

p/s: HELP ME!!!