Friday, January 7, 2011

When things get confusing

Have you ever had a dilemma where someone's treating you so well that you hate it? If you do, then I'll say.. COME AND JOIN THE CLUB!! If some of you don't, then maybe you want to spend some time reading my story.

It started not so long ago. Couple of months I'd say. When I said couple of months, I really meant 'couple'. Yea, it's two months to be exact. I was not sure where and how X ( I'll call the person that, OK?) came. But X just did.

X treated me well back then and X still treats me so well now. X did stuffs that never once any of my friends ever did to me or even... with me. It cannot be denied that some of those times, I did enjoy X company. But... ( yes, there's a but) some of other times, X just some annoying, disturbing irritating brat! (How mean that sounds to you?) That's what I felt or rather I feel.

Maybe I'm just so comfortable being with people who don't really care about me ALL the time. Maybe I'm just so suitable being around people who don't really bug me EVERY ticking minute. Maybe I'm just secretive enough to not let someone like X intrude my comfort zone. Or maybe I just don't like X at all.

But hold on. Every time I come to that conclusion, I'll think again. HOW COME YOU DON'T LIKE SOMEONE WHO'S NICE TO YOU? HOW BAD IS A GOOD PERSON LIKE THAT DESERVES TO BE HATED? So, you guys see what I meant?

At some point I thought letting X knows how I feel particularly about Xself is the best thing to do. But at other one point, I'd say, "X just don't need to know all that. X'll be very upset that eventually I'll just loose X along the way". Then I'd say back, "Isn't that will be easier? Loosing X? Isn't that what I want?".

NO... Its not what I want...

In the end, I just start to avoid X. I answer X once in a while. I talk to X sometimes. It's just unlike before. So, is what I'm doing right or wrong?

Am I right because I deserve to have my own life and privacy that make avoiding X is one of the ways to get them?


Am I wrong because I'm just too self-preserved that I ignored a good person to share my life and that make me a selfish girl at the same time?


Am I just don't have any control on this dilemma?

p/s: HELP ME!!!


awe said...

appreciate ppl while u still can :)

akubukansapesape said...

wat if avoiding is how u appreciate them? becoz, if u decide to be around them so much, u tend to hurt them more. so avoiding is the way to prevent that.. ??

ainazirah said...

The story sounds familiar to me. I'd done many things to solve that, but I guess you could do better.

Just confront X, telling her (I just assume X is a 'she') that you would appreciate it if she lift her concerns & give some time for you to be alone. Tell this whenever she's bugging you.

All the best.

p/s: yes, too much concerns will lead to hatred

akubukansapesape said...

y'think?? mayb i shud try that when X bugs me after this.. thnx